Brand new 2016

.Happy New Year cyber folks.

I was reminiscing a little, looked through a little in my couple blog with my ex-es. Apparently, life repeats in a cycle. I took my boyfriends for granted, I feel insecure, I wanted attention, love, needs fulfilled. I said I want to love you, looks like I’ve been saying that for a while now already.

2015, I didn’t knew what is love. I asked, but never really given. I was selfish, all I wanted was my convenience.

Love ; is really about bringing ease to your partner, thinking for your partner & doing things for him/her.

I’ve experienced this so called love from a suitor recently. It hit me so hard that I felt like I was some selfish bitch. Were you at that receiving end of my selfishness? Was how I felt then, how you felt always?

At least, that’s when I know, he didn’t love me like he confessed that he did. He just wanted me. Wanted me around conveniently when he needed someone to talk, wanted me around to always have someone to go out with, wanted me around to show him the love & concern as a partner.

How I know? Because that was what I wanted.

Thank you for this ambiguity, this i-don’t-know if we’re still together or really broken up. It gave me space & time to learn how to be alone and love myself properly. While knowing that you’re still there giving me a hand when needed.

Thank you for spending the last moment of 2015 with me, and thank you for ushering in 2016 with me, in bus overseeing the fireworks at Marina Bay Floating Platform. I do still feel your love towards me, this taking an extra step and helping me in work and in life.

I do still want to love you. But I hope this form of love, is the kind that really radiates happiness & glow from within you. Like how happy you were when you were chasing me and when we were initially together. That joy that I see from you, is priceless.

& I’ve learnt, there’s no point in hiding and fearing. Stand up for yourself, your rights, your desires.

Half year

In a matter of 6 months, many things happened. I’ve learnt that it’s often because of me, of my selfish needs and self prophecy cycle that harms the closest people around me.

Dillusional, thinking that steams from needs of security and onesided mind. My way is the only way.

Learning to accept of who you are and letting go of all the fake securities that I need to have. Committing to yours & ours best interests, surrendering myself to the higher being to help me when I’m stuck in my ego mind. ๐Ÿ˜˜

Future ๐Ÿ”ฎ

I do not speak flowery words, nor am able to coat my straightforward words with honey like you do. I have been too objective and unemotional all my life and this isn’t treating me well. Ignorance is never a bliss. Applied knowledge then is power. I want to be powerful and mighty. I will be up there and be very successful with pride and honour.

Heck, these words spent even seems coherent. ย What thinking too much and worries does to me.ย 

It is precisely because it isn’t easy that it is worth it

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First blog post in this year. And what makes me remember my WordPress is because I have many things to write, but didn’t wanted people on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram to know. And it just feel restricted!

Past months have given me the feeling of love. Much much much love that I’ve been wanting for the longest time ever. He gives me the kind of emotional support, reassurance, intellectual and spiritual growth, confidence, self worth, leadership that fits me.

Used to think that perfect fit is a cheesy phrase. I think for this relationship, it’s only fair to use it. Twin flame, soulmates, whatever you call it. Note that I’m not a cheesy person like this, and labeling a person until this extent took me really long of confirmation to agree on it.

True love. Something so precious that I find it deserving of our relationship. He brings out the best it me, making me the most real and true self that I can ever me. Likewise, I am too, to him.

What’s more we have the blessing of the sales legend. She, who despite of her really busy schedule, took effort to give me a really open and genuine advice. We treasure it. We give the commitment that we will, be that one couple that gives her hope that there is indeed a couple that can be happily ever after. Dawned upon me that during a colleague church wedding this morning when the newly wed were reciting the vow, it felt excatly the same commitment that we’re making. โ™ฅ

5 years of relationship that I give up, sadly it wasn’t even worth these months of intense growth. Fortunately it has taught me many things that I am still ad ever sincerely been grateful for. ๐Ÿ™‚

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Totally can’t wait for the day when we can officially declare this relationship. Finally, will be something that I’ll most probably exclaimed!  My closest colleague can even sense that he’s definitely the right guy for me by just meeting and talking to him once. Amazing isn’t it?

House, marriage. So so much motivation to do well! Time to go all out to prospect more! 💪💪💪

Late night thoughts 💭

Dear blog that I’ve neglected,

Very very glad for the challenges this year, that leads to many new beginning. Holding on to my belief, surrounding myself with successful business owners on a weekly basis. I am see the light at the tunnel.

Next year will be my year, will be the year of the sheep! 🐑

Forsee many many positive changes, struggling improvements, money well invested.
As per what Chuck says in one of his daily card. Belive in the abundance inflow of money with the outflow of it. 💰💰💰

Good vs evil 😇 👿

Wanted to post on twitter, but too limited words.
Wanted to post on facebook, but not very convinent.
Wanted to post on instagram, maybe maybe.

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Anyway, was chasing the the 2nd last episode of The X Dormitory. And there’s the scene of Chen Wei fighting against Ye Sheng. Evil fighting against Good. Evil was winning all these while. Until the Good side, Ye Sheng was hard kneeling on the floor fighting with the saber against Chen Wei and said he has seen that in the good, what people has done. He believed that ultimately good will triumph over evil. I thought it was a very good point to bring across. At such a down and out moment, how easy is it to just hang onto your beliefs and continue to fight on. And whoever that managed to keep their faith, ultimately they will succeed

And I will still believe, and have faith.ย 

Was reading through the reflections and thank you notes for last year morphosis. All because the juniors are going next week. 1 year has passed, I can still remember vividly what I went through in morphosis. Reading through the notes, many colleague believed in me, saw my untapped potentials, and admired my persist ency and determination. Coming to company’s final sprint, this helps me to do a brief pit stop, remember what goal boss ask me to set, my own goals and keep in mind how much i want to achieve it.

Sam Kim & Kwon Jin Ah signed a contract under Antenna Music

Sam Kim & Kwon Jin Ah signed a contract under Antenna Music
I think it’s pretty obvious that these 2 belongs under Yoo Hee Yeol.

MAD AWESOMEEEEE NEWS THIS MORNING!!
CAN’T WAIT FOR THEIR DEBUT WOOTS!

Both are so talented with their guitars.
Now I’m just left waiting for Something’s news.
& not sure if YHY have enough budget to sign any more of them anot.