Favourites

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Things can only become a favourite because someone attach a meaning to it.

A flower, a location, a word, a phrase, a food, people. YOU

Sunflowers meant nothing to me until you came along
Pasir Ris Park meant nothing to me until you came along
Yishun meant nothing to me until you came along

Memories, can’t be erased, can only be faded.
Feelings, can never be choose to  ignored, can only be let go.

I thank you, for being you
for teaching me, me

I thank you for giving up on me
with that, teaching me to never give up on myself

To say live your life without regrets is easy, but yet regrets happen because we will only grow to know what’s best after it happens

I’ll say, live your everyday a little better than you are yesterday 💟

Goodbye, for now

March is the month of letting go of attachment.

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我放不开 我们明明可以天长地久
明明可以 一起为事业奋斗
明明可以 一起扶持对方

就因为 我们性格不一 才认为是最佳拍档
曾妄想过 就因为我们是最佳拍档
能为我们的客户 一起计划他们的未来
他们,有你就有我

可惜 妄想 变成了 奢望

回忆,为何难以放下
梦想,就不能实现吗 …

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Leave, anyone that makes you feel less of yourself. Because lady, you are the most beautiful gift created by God. You are destined for abundance and ease. You are the most lovable person.

Continue reading “Goodbye, for now”

To you,

I was thinking of things and couldn’t really sleep. I hope you don’t mind me sharing with you, I’ll really love to be able to share with you things, kinda like for you to understand me more as well. And of course, if you have some inner thoughts or feelings, I hope of you to be able to share with me too.

It came across my mind that I’ve been having troubles with relationships. You, my mother, manager, friends, etc. Seems like from young till now, I aren’t able to manage a relationship well. That’s why I felt and don’t feel comfortable enough to put anyone in the close friends or BFF category. And perhaps it’s true, I’m afraid to be vulnerable, I’m afraid to be hurt, thus I choose to push people away. And you my dear, you felt the most because you were the closest to me, still.

I thought about why I love watching the return of superman show so much. I agree, it’s not productive, it’s just a reality show with dads and kids. But it warms my heart so so much. It fills my heart with so much love that I crave for. I love the triplets alot, and I’ve found the reason why. They are being brought up in a environment full of love, care and trust. And compliments. I kinda understand true love more from this dad too. He never expects anything from his kids. He’ll just be very happy when they can do something and shower then with kisses and compliments. It’s so real, and I think that’s what true love is. Putting in so much love, and not expecting anything as results. He taught me the importance of acknowledging and complimenting too.

And I think that is a solution to all relationship issue. Esp between us, we always felt unheard from each other. And if we could make that conscious effort to acknowledge and say that i hear you, you’re unhappy, and apologize for it in a nice tone. And make an effort to remember to not to do the same again, It will soften the atmosphere so much, I truly believe in that. And there wouldn’t be a need for us to go back to that same issue again in the future, because we were not felt clearly heard from each other.

Watching the show, makes me feel like having a baby. I’ll want to be that father who love and trust the triplets. Who shower the babies with compliments to let them know that they’re being love. And compliment them for slowly improving and being better growing up. All in all, I want the baby, with the husband I love, and whom love me too. Don’t take it too strongly, I honestly didn’t pray that it has to be you. I’m still conflicted, but I know I want someone who fits that above criteria at the end of the day. Though some parts of me is still hoping that it could be you.

I don’t really expect a reply or respond to this. After all its just my thoughts voicing out, and piecing things together. And understanding myself more, and learning to accept why I do the things I do…

Brand new 2016

.Happy New Year cyber folks.

I was reminiscing a little, looked through a little in my couple blog with my ex-es. Apparently, life repeats in a cycle. I took my boyfriends for granted, I feel insecure, I wanted attention, love, needs fulfilled. I said I want to love you, looks like I’ve been saying that for a while now already.

2015, I didn’t knew what is love. I asked, but never really given. I was selfish, all I wanted was my convenience.

Love ; is really about bringing ease to your partner, thinking for your partner & doing things for him/her.

I’ve experienced this so called love from a suitor recently. It hit me so hard that I felt like I was some selfish bitch. Were you at that receiving end of my selfishness? Was how I felt then, how you felt always?

At least, that’s when I know, he didn’t love me like he confessed that he did. He just wanted me. Wanted me around conveniently when he needed someone to talk, wanted me around to always have someone to go out with, wanted me around to show him the love & concern as a partner.

How I know? Because that was what I wanted.

Thank you for this ambiguity, this i-don’t-know if we’re still together or really broken up. It gave me space & time to learn how to be alone and love myself properly. While knowing that you’re still there giving me a hand when needed.

Thank you for spending the last moment of 2015 with me, and thank you for ushering in 2016 with me, in bus overseeing the fireworks at Marina Bay Floating Platform. I do still feel your love towards me, this taking an extra step and helping me in work and in life.

I do still want to love you. But I hope this form of love, is the kind that really radiates happiness & glow from within you. Like how happy you were when you were chasing me and when we were initially together. That joy that I see from you, is priceless.

& I’ve learnt, there’s no point in hiding and fearing. Stand up for yourself, your rights, your desires.

Half year

In a matter of 6 months, many things happened. I’ve learnt that it’s often because of me, of my selfish needs and self prophecy cycle that harms the closest people around me.

Dillusional, thinking that steams from needs of security and onesided mind. My way is the only way.

Learning to accept of who you are and letting go of all the fake securities that I need to have. Committing to yours & ours best interests, surrendering myself to the higher being to help me when I’m stuck in my ego mind. 😘

Late night thoughts 💭

Dear blog that I’ve neglected,

Very very glad for the challenges this year, that leads to many new beginning. Holding on to my belief, surrounding myself with successful business owners on a weekly basis. I am see the light at the tunnel.

Next year will be my year, will be the year of the sheep! 🐑

Forsee many many positive changes, struggling improvements, money well invested.
As per what Chuck says in one of his daily card. Belive in the abundance inflow of money with the outflow of it. 💰💰💰

Good vs evil 😇 👿

Wanted to post on twitter, but too limited words.
Wanted to post on facebook, but not very convinent.
Wanted to post on instagram, maybe maybe.

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Anyway, was chasing the the 2nd last episode of The X Dormitory. And there’s the scene of Chen Wei fighting against Ye Sheng. Evil fighting against Good. Evil was winning all these while. Until the Good side, Ye Sheng was hard kneeling on the floor fighting with the saber against Chen Wei and said he has seen that in the good, what people has done. He believed that ultimately good will triumph over evil. I thought it was a very good point to bring across. At such a down and out moment, how easy is it to just hang onto your beliefs and continue to fight on. And whoever that managed to keep their faith, ultimately they will succeed

And I will still believe, and have faith. 

Was reading through the reflections and thank you notes for last year morphosis. All because the juniors are going next week. 1 year has passed, I can still remember vividly what I went through in morphosis. Reading through the notes, many colleague believed in me, saw my untapped potentials, and admired my persist ency and determination. Coming to company’s final sprint, this helps me to do a brief pit stop, remember what goal boss ask me to set, my own goals and keep in mind how much i want to achieve it.