Sigh. Don’t know what am i. I conclude jail bird, or perhaps frog in the well.

I hate to be pressured too. Why must you give me a limit of 1 hour, do you know time flies? You’re the best Mum in anything else but never when it comes to my partner. You are so sensitive about me going out with guys. I know it all. I get the fast track clearance when i say i wish to go out with those girls, this good i can see.

I hate to look into your eyes when i ask permission to step out of the house. You always look at me as if i am lying. You are forever suspecting me right, i’m 1617 already. You choose people whom i can go out with. I know you have the right to stop me from going out but your reasons are always so unacceptable. I have the basic freedom but i want more. My wings are damn hard i want to fly.

First time only you stop me. Best type of traffic light man, the light is always red. There’re like so many people i want to go out with but sometimes i just can’t be bothered to ask you for permission. I hate to be interrogated. Sorry to people that i’ve said no.

I’m always a smiley face in your presence because i don’t want to arouse your suspicion and ask me questions all over again. You’re the cause but i can’t do anything. Because you are my Mum. I’m in pain now. I’m not blaming you or something. Perhaps when i grow older, i will know why are you doing this. I find this all crap. I might understand it in future. But from now till the so called future, i just have to suffer right. I will accept it unwilling. You’re not a bad mother, you’re just a strict mother. But i just hate it ok.

even though all these are not what i wrote.
but this is basically what i want to say.
i think this makes more sense.
rather then those nonsense i wrote.

she’s just a fucker i wish to never know of.
how i wish she never existed.
then i would not exist.
then i would not have to suffer.

and i repeat.

i want to be 21 years old NOW NOW !!!

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